I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize