used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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