I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
it's great music for shaving your balls
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
