I need help removing her.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
