Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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