i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
