WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
