I just pynch a tree in the face
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
