Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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