Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
