Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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