THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
