I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
