ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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