You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
