is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
