I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
