So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
