I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
