Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
