the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He? As in you personified your dick?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
