What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
