i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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