Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
