He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize