God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
