all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
