Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize