But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize