The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Mom said you looked used
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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