I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
