Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
