Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
