After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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