i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
