my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
