i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
