Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
