Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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