Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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