dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize