she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize