if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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