sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
