This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My pussy is not your playground.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
