I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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