I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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