Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
