I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
