I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Randomize
