Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
