fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
