how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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