We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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