You're completely useless in the revolution.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
