I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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