He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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