like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
