belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
