But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
