Yo dont text me then not text me
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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