Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
