oh god the rape fog is back!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
