btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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