first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
