Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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