I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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