he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
