did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It's no shave November. This is our time.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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