shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
