He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize