After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
