Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
