I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize