i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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