Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
