ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize