we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
