I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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