Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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